The first thing in my experience in discipling, coaching and mentoring is to assess where people are in terms of belief systems. I have however observed that belief systems have lots to do with what eventually would become the person’s identity.
And if your belief system determines your identity you are going to live your life according to what that system dictates. However, when we believe the Word and what God says about us as human beings we get transformed according to God’s Word and God’s view.
My biggest aim in getting Christ formed in individuals is firstly to love them unconditionally, secondly to get to know their stories, thirdly to be an accurate representation of Christ, not meaning perfect but accurate. When I miss it I can correct it with God’s Word. I use the following Scriptures to help those I disciple:
Ephesians 1:3–10
Their facial expressions, while absorbing this truth, show me how special it is when people are liberated from their ungodly belief systems.
Galatians 4:19; 5:22–26
Only when a person’s true identity in Christ is embraced is the fruit of the Spirit formed. He or she must continue in discipleship until such time as they fully embrace what it means to be a Christ follower. At that point they are willing to follow Christ to the ends of the earth, willing to pay the price of the high calling to GO!
I sourced some information from people I have mentored and am currently still discipling. Below are their testimonies about their spiritual journey.

ASHIKA MARTIN, Age: 20

“Christian spiritual formation is the process of being conformed to the image of Jesus Christ for the glory of God and for the sake of others.” Before I was born again I was bound to my flesh and was conformed to the world and its patterns and I was more selfish than servant-like.
When I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, a change happened in my spirit. Instead of letting myself be led by my flesh, I instead tried to be led by the Holy Spirit. Instead of trying to conform to the world and its patterns, I let God mold me to be conformed to the image of Jesus.
As I grew as a follower of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit pointed out things I had to change to bring glory to God and be beneficial for others. Although it is difficult to this day, it is all for God’s glory.

AMY HANEKAM, Age: 23

As Christian spiritual formation is the process of being conformed to the image of Jesus Christ for the glory of God and for the sake of others, this is how my spiritual formation developed when I became a born–again believer.
When I first got saved, I thought there were certain sins that were greater than others. I believed that as long as I’m not drinking to get drunk and smoking, I was fine. But I wasn’t, because I was still doing other sins without repentance. I was still lying, entertaining ungodly boys, and watching TV shows I knew I should not be watching. I was also listening to secular music and kept my gospel music for Sundays. I was acting like a Christian on the outside, but on the inside, my heart was ugly.
It was only after going through a traumatic experience that I realised the world I was flirting with did not love me. I learned it is only Jesus who truly loves me and is calling me back to him. He was calling me to be fully his, to be able to experience everything he had in store for me. Rather than material things, it was his peace, mercy, and favor.
From then, I just wanted him. I wanted to be his, and the only way that was possible, was if I accepted all of him, all his words, all his commandments. And I saw that everything he asks me not to do, is for my own protection, because he loves me so much. In this, I saw myself becoming more and more like him, and I’m still striving to become like him.

SKYE ARENDSE, Age: 19

Becoming a born again Christian for me was when I was ten years old and got baptised by my own choice. Although I grew up in church and spent time with God, I did not fully understand the purpose of doing it.
After getting baptised I went to classes explaining what the purpose of God’s kingdom is and why we follow him. I continued to grow up in the church and also helped out in children’s church every Sunday. Once I reached my teenage years, I slowed down spending time with God and tried to fit in with the crowd and be more like the people around me, although they were doing the wrong things.
Though I still believed in Jesus and that he died for my sins, I didn’t spend time with him on a connecting level or build a relationship with him. Around the age of 15, I started to spend time with him again but still not on a deep level of understanding.
At age 18, I joined a gap–year team where I started to spend more time with God and fully understand his purpose and plans for his kingdom, and that we as Christians need to spread the gospel and bring more people to him. Now, I have full faith in him, have wholly given my life to him, and live by his purpose. Although I grew up around the Christian life, I didn’t necessarily feel his presence in my life, but now I do feel his presence around me constantly.

CLAUDIA CLOETE, Age: 24

I am amazed to have seen the change in me when I heard the truth of God’s Word shared by my mentor. I was so empty and felt purposeless. But then Jesus reached out his hand to me, and I realised that I’m not alone and that there was a better way to live my life.
He made everything brighter and my thought patterns changed. At the start of it all, it was very hard to let go of the stuff I was doing and the way I treated others. I had to distance myself from people and choose who I wanted to be in Christ. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do anything on my own.
My parents played a big role in my life. I didn’t realise it but they were the ones who taught me how to be a servant and help where I can. I always saw how they were available to help someone out or even do ushering in church. That really shaped me into someone that wanted to help out and do something for the next person. I realize now that the person they were imitating was Christ and that amazing quality of serving is now in me. You never realize that Christ plays a part in what you do until you become a part of his kingdom.
Being a part of a gap–year team really opened my eyes to what is happening outside. I thought I knew, but I really didn’t. I never knew the process of serving and laying down my life for Christ until I joined this team.
We always think we’re doing the right thing until it gets tested. I never thought that there were people that never even heard the name Jesus. I knew, but I guess it really didn’t sink in and knowing what I know now makes me sad to think that people don’t know about his existence or how life changing it is to live with him. If he could change my life in the blink of an eye, how amazing would it be for others to at least feel his presence.
Knowing that there are cities that don’t know him is really sad and makes me want to tell them so much more about him. Hearing about how people live around the world is so much different than personally experiencing it and seeing it with your own eyes.
Like Jesus, I just want to serve His people with everything in me. I want to be obedient and listen to what the Father says. I want to be obedient to the great commission, “Go and make disciples of all nations.”

Check out Sacred Courage at William Carey Publishing.